The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
