dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
