my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
