Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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