Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
