So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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