My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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