Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
