Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
