and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
