I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
