I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
