Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.

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(406): View more from Montana

We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

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(951): View more from California

I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(928): View more from Arizona

It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?

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(316): View more from Kansas

You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.

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(813): View more from Florida

And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit

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(239): View more from Florida

You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill

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