Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
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My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
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There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it