people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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