OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
