it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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