dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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