Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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