So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
