I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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