dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
