Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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