I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize