Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(856): View more from New Jersey

Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning

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(248): View more from Michigan

I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.

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(678): View more from Georgia

WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!

(404): View more from Georgia

The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night

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(416): View more from Toronto

Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.

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