So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
