Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
