I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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