Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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