Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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