No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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