Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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