Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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