matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
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my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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