The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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