I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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