Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
