How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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