I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
