he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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