wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
