Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
this boner is exhausting
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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