Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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