This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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