So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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