I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
