New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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