ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
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