I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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