The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
