Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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