you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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