WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize