do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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