i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
