He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
