That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
