If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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