So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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