Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I have aggressive nipples.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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