Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
