guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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