When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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