kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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